Lessons Learned as a Nursing Home Musician
Music is doing a lot for me. It is beyond the cliché. I am “as happy as a clam,” pretending to be a professional guitarist that is able to play anything. I get excited when I get a proposal to play live anywhere. I am encouraged when I get more than three views on my Facebook page of the short snippets, I create using my iPhone and a growing knowledge of video editing. I am “on a high” if I get more than fifty views on my YouTube channel. I am happy knowing I am getting a little better every week. I am I am giddy when I pack up my equipment to actually play somewhere. Lately all the events have been with senior citizens or the infirmed. They appreciate the joy.
There are a lot of musicians capable of doing what I dream of. It seems none of that is required to entertain our elderly or those in assisted living facilities. I’ve been to a few now. Once you reach a certain stage in your life, this is where you could end up. It’s not for everyone.
With the exception of a few, most nursing facilities are crowded. The residents are tended to by immigrants. Some look numb to what is going on all around them and you wonder if it is low IQ or just the opposite. You may have to be numb to operate in this environment 24/7. The temperature is warm. You may smell urine and see residents that have soiled themselves. Modesty is rare. You are entering someone’s home or personal space when you walk into a place. You may hear someone in distress or in some stage of mental crisis. Sometimes it’s not an emergency. It can be unsettling. People die there.
No facility is the same. They are as different as the people inside it. This includes management.
Music in a nursing facility is therapeutic. Music does stuff to the mind, body and spirit for all of us. It doesn’t diminish when we are old. Playing music in a nursing, assisted living, retirement, or hospice facility is a ministry. I am blessed every time I have been invited in one way or another. It was not what I planned to do when I began. It just happened.
I am learning the importance of calling someone’s name. The importance of touch. The importance of conversation. The importance of being human. In essence, being human transcends mere biology; it encompasses our emotions, consciousness, and the awe-inspiring journey of existence.
Then there are the benefits I provide by playing this music.
There are Physical Health Benefits:
- Stress Reduction: Music has the power to soothe our nerves and lower stress levels. It can reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and even alleviate pain.
- Improved Sleep Quality: Calming melodies can promote better sleep, aiding in restful nights.
- Enhanced Brain Function: Listening to music stimulates your brain, activating various areas. It can improve mental alertness and memory¹².
- Heart Health: Music's positive effects on mood and relaxation can lead to better cardiovascular health.
There are mental and emotional benefits:
- Mood Enhancement: Whether it's an upbeat tune or a soulful ballad, music can lift your spirits and boost your mood.
- Emotional Expression: Music provides an outlet for emotions. It allows us to express feelings that words alone cannot convey.
- Pain Management: Engaging with music can help manage pain perception, especially during recovery or chronic conditions.
- Memory Retention: Listening to music aids memory recall and slows cognitive decline, benefiting those with mild or moderate dementia¹⁴.
I see the social and cultural connections when I play.
Music unites people. National anthems, protest songs, and hymns create a sense of shared purpose.
And there are the cognitive benefits I witness in the nursing homes. Active engagement with music positively impacts cognitive function and quality of life.
be a blessing
If you know someone in a nursing home, or assisted living facility that you used to speak to regularly, go visit them. Inside an aging body, is the soul of a person you love. Get past the sensory issues of housing of human beings in some stage of decline. It may smell. You might hear someone scream out. It might be too warm for you. You might see an improperly dressed person, showing all their splendor accidently or on purpose.
Get through that, and visit your person. They need the interaction. We all do. Isolation is torture. Human touch is needed by the living. Your presence will keep the strangers that work there on their toes. Your visit, will alert others that there is a person that is connected in their care. They are not faceless, nameless things to abuse, neglect, steal from, hurt, or ignore.
These are people. Seniors usually that have accomplished lifetimes of things, now restricted because of health or mental capacity. It is still a person in there. Don't let them be forgotten.
And if you don't know anyone but have the bandwidth and capacity to help others, volunteer. You cand help read to residents, listen to their stories, and walk with them. Increase their quality of life.
To volunteer at nursing homes:
Research the nursing home you are interested in.
Set up a visit.
Apply and complete additional paperwork.
Attend an interview and background check.
Attend orientation and training.
Be a blessing.
How Good Could You Get on Guitar/Bass, If You Weren’t Afraid To Fail?
Everybody tries to avoid failure because they think that it’s bad.
You probably don’t remember that there was a time in your life when you couldn’t walk. The baby version of you, crawled. And before that there was a time when you couldn’t crawl. All of a sudden you started crawling and your parents were, “YEAH, look at the baby!
And you started crawling and all of a sudden, one day you’d grab a hold of the coffee table and you stood up for about two seconds and you turned loose and you fell back down. And you stood up again and you fell back down, you stood up again and this process went through and then all of a sudden one day you could stand up and then you took a step and you fell back down. You tried to take another step, and, all of sudden one day you started taking steps and you went from one side of the room to the other and your parents were hollering and screaming, and clapping and it was a good thing.
You could tell by the expressions on their face that they were just… Man! They were excited! And you were excited too because now you could motivate them a lot faster. Well, that sequencing of events was the brain learning from falling. Interesting that falling and failure begin with the same letter. Now, if you had gotten mad when you fell, then you probably wouldn’t have tried to stand up anymore. But if you looked at the fall and the sequence, as just something that is; it is what it is. It becomes what you make of it.
And you looked at it as opportunity to learn; which you did as a baby, okay? Every baby does. And you got right back up regardless of failing, you got right back up and tried it again and you kept doing it again.
And then all of a sudden, one day you began to walk. How good could you get on your instrument (or life) if you weren’t afraid to fail?
Here's some of the common reasons we may (or have ) quit learning guitar:
Self-doubt: Feeling that becoming a great guitar player is unachievable, especially when facing learning challenges.
Lack of confidence: Being intimidated by others' progress or talent can be discouraging.
Lack of fun: Struggling with scales and poor instruction can make practice feel tedious and unenjoyable.
Forgetting the results: Losing sight of the benefits and goals of learning to play can lead to a loss of motivation.
Poor planning: Without a clear vision or plan, progress can feel unattainable.
Our brain does not learn from success. The brain learns from failure, and it’s not the failure that it learns from, it’s the intense scrutiny after the failure to chunk whatever you’re trying to do into four or five different parts and figure out what part of the sequence was out of order or didn’t work right and then to make a decisive change in the way you were going to do that and then fire the circuit again. Do it again, do it again, do it again regardless of result, keep doing it and keep refining it and it’s the intense scrutiny after the act that builds what’s called a myelin sheath, it insulates that circuit with a living protein called myelin. The more you refine and fire the circuit over and over again; eventually you get what you want.
All great performers have two things in common: Uncanny emotional control and a greater tolerance for failure and setback than everyone else because they realize that even if they won an event, they know, even though they won, that there were several things that they could have done better and they have a very hard time savoring victory; because they know within their hearts and within their minds that they could do better. And that’s why there are so few really great performers. Most people just want to get by.
STOP IT!
Most people are trying not to fail; so they never get better.
To overcome these obstacles, it's important to set realistic goals, find enjoyable ways to practice, and remember why you started learning in the first place. It's also helpful to ensure your guitar is properly set up to facilitate easier learning.
From Guns to Guitars
I’m still pro-gun.
I've been into guns since childhood. I was born in the sixties and all the tv heroes had guns. The firearm culture was a part of Americana then. It was accepted that hunting season would cause a few boys to be absent from school as they spent time with their fathers and uncles in the woods. It was not uncommon to see long guns in the back of pickup trucks. The more rural you were the easier your access to firearms were. They are tools. They were collectable items that were passed down in families. They hadn't invented the term gun violence yet. Guns don't kill people. People kill people.
Firearms did not pose the threat of violence that is parroted today. Gun control is a business now.
I spent thirty years and sacrificed a career, fighting gun control as a firearms instructor and civil rights activist known as the Black Man With A Gun. As a former US Marine, federal police officer and protective agent that had spent a life time in the Intelligence Community, I knew what I was talking about. I have protected a US President, and three high ranking government officials. I have traveled to and worked in thirteen hostile countries. I've carried a sidearm for more than half my life.
In 1999, I wrote and published Black Man With A Gun, A Responsible Gun Ownership Manual for African Americans, and rewrote it in 2014. I created a firearms consulting business called African American Arms & Instruction, (A3i) in 1992. I have lobbied the US Congress. I have testified in the state legislatures of Virginia, Texas, South Carolina, Michigan, Maryland, and Wisconsin. I was instrumental in the passing of concealed carry reform in 1992 for Virginia and Texas. I founded the Tenth Cavalry Gun Club, a national pro-gun organization for African Americans. I've failed at more than I have succeeded in. I have tried a lot of things though. I even trademarked Black Man With A Gun (TM).
In 2007, I started podcasting and used the connections I had made as activist to interview and share knowledge about firearms, the truth about guns, and its culture. I tried everything on that show. I was a constant on the radio. I have been in at least four documentaries. I've been the voice of reason called upon immediately after a crisis. The podcast became a pro-gun variety show that I just ended in 2023 after almost 800 episodes. It was a great experience.
I have connected with thousands of people and at a time was a household name in the firearms community. Today I pass the torch to the young guns that can more effectively reach others through social media than I did at its infancy.
I love gun people. They are the traditional Americans that have the same values as my grandparents. There are not as many of them as it used to be so I cherish the ones I know. I like the rest that often fall in the middle of the argument and understand its about choice and the protection of life, and not politics. They like me back. Some of these traditionalist are still encouraging me like good friends although we have never met. The internet isn't all bad.
These days, I don't debate or post gun pictures. I stopped responding to queries and calls to help others ratings. I have embrace my creative side, to learn the art of guitar. I use music to help those that can't get around like they used to. I am the nursing home musician. (link)
In the year 2019, I leaned forward with my guitar goals as a way to cope with the need to be a caregiver for my wife. Music has been a blessing. (link)
Learning the guitar, is a forward-looking process, kindling hope and optimism. You may not know this but it helps regulate stable mood chemicals like serotonin and dopamine.
For me, it gives me joy. I can physically chart my progress. It is cheaper than therapy and doesn’t leave me any bad side affects. I've replaced many of the guns I had with guitars. Each one allowed me to learn a style or try something new that helps my progress. I've been buying and selling them so much, I decided to start a side business which also helped me. I now do minor repairs and set ups for guitars and basses to help others get their sound or favorite instruments back.
In 2023, it's all about growth to me. I now know what life is all about. I know who I am and what I am not. I try to get along with most people, the rest I leave alone. I am still working on me. I am the only one I can control. Life keeps it interesting because it never fails to throw curveballs at you. Even with all that is happening, I am trying to live my best life. That comes easier when you seek to help someone else.
This year for black history month I was just remembered in this article.
Get busy living, or get busy dying. - Stephen King
The Making Of Spoon
Do you want to know where the name Spoon came from?
I have been studying people and marketing all of my life. Anthropology and sociology and the behavior sciences are exciting to me. I think because of it I don’t fault people for what they do or say. I believe most of the time it is just a person taking the easy way out and exhibiting the hand they have been dealt. It’s like if you block an entrance they move to the open door. We are predictable. It is getting easier to manipulate, coerce and fool people.
During the COVID pandemic our Public Affairs office divided the time each of us could come into the office to limit close contact with others. It was a lonely time. One Friday after not speaking to another human being in a few hours, the phone rang. It was the line that the public would use to call the US Army for all kinds of reasons.
Public Affairs Office may I help you? A male voice with a southern accent said…
THIS IS TYRONE WITHERSPOON FOR A RADIO CHECK, OVER.
After a pause, I said, I read you loud and clear, 5 X 5 sir, over.
TEN FOUR!
And he hung up.
I laughed off and on for the rest of the day. I thought that would be a good stage name for a blues guy. Hey, I’m a blues guy. I’ll call myself, Spoon.
Spoons are not dangerous. They don’t have sharp edges. We give babies spoons. They are safe. It’s not as scary as a Lightening, Muddy, Wolf, or king of anything…